New book questions women’s decision to stay home with their children
April 16th, 2007
There are some ruffled feathers in the Stay-at-Home-Mom world due to a recent book written by Leslie Bennets, luring women to question the decision of raising their children over pursuing a career. She raises some good points in this post - but I take umbrage with the disrespectful tone. Don’t know about you other WAHM’s — but I pay MY mortgage!
I’m really left with the feeling that Ms. Bennets considers us so childish and stupid as to not have any understanding of the ways of the world. The whole point from a WAHM, SAHM perspective is to make certain sacrifices of which we are WELL aware.
I’ve never been one to engage in the Mommy Wars - Truly, I respect every woman’s decisions. The kids seem to come out alright for the most part in spite of all of our folly’s on either side of the fence! However, I do resent having my intellect insulted by Ms. Bennet.
Women are who they are. They can choose to have an active social life if they work or if they stay home. They can read, stay informed on current events, write, create — whatever they choose. Whether or not they work. Good Moms and not so good Moms work and don’t work. There is no right answer.
Any woman can lose her job. Any woman can lose her husband. But it is a woman’s mindset and spirit that will help her to be resiliant to life’s blows.
General, Work at Home Moms
Entry Filed under: Work at Home Moms
7 Comments Add your own
1. Random stuff from cim &ra&hellip | April 16th, 2007 at 10:18 pm
[…] what it’s about. Some authors like to stir up controversy - bottom line is, it sells copies. read more | digg […]
2. Cassie | April 17th, 2007 at 11:59 am
Wow, I never heard of that book until now. I just might have to read it :) I’m actually in that position right now. I left my job when I was pregnant with my first child and I haven’t worked out of the home since then and now I’ve recently separated from my husband.
While I can understand and even agree with the results of her research, I would have to say that she never interviewed anyone like me. I don’t regret leaving the work force but I do regret MY HUSBAND!
Being a SAHM is tough work! Being a WAHM is even more tough, but it’s still the best job in the world because I get to spend as much time as I want with my kids. I’m happy as a clam too. I still think her book would be a very interesting read though.
3. Amber | April 23rd, 2007 at 6:46 am
Wow, um humm. You put it very well, Lori.
I am a stay at home mom (of 4) and a work at home mom. I bring money into the home but am also there for my kids 24/7.
What Ms. Bennets needs to understand is that you can in fact do both and aside from giving up a few minor things on either side of the fence, life is wonderful.
Its busy, its hard but at the end of the day, its worthwile and I wouldnt do it any differently. The work side of things is nice, but family does come first and never would I think that paying my own mortgage (assuming my husband can and does) just to say I can is more important than my kids. That logic doesnt compute!
I’ll hope that this is some crazy marketing thing and she is trying to get attention to her book by insulting the target audience. I hear that works sometimes, but think its in poor taste myself.
4. Groovy Lady | April 24th, 2007 at 9:47 pm
Good post Lori and I agree with your feelings on it. Being a stay or work at home mom has absolutely nothing to do with someones level of intelligence. Her implications are not only demeaning for stay at home moms but for their working spouses as well. I highly doubt any woman just decides on her own that’s how it’s going to be and no longer works. It takes a heck of a lot of consideration and agreements from both the husband and the wife as to if it is even doable.. and what you can or are willing to do without if need be.
It’s strictly a lifestyle choice that is right for some but not others. I haven’t worked outside the home in 15 years and it has been a conscious decision on both mine and my husbands part.
We decided long ago that having the biggest house on the block, the nicest cars, etc.. were no where near as important as having one of us at home raising our children how we wanted them to be raised. Neither of us have ever regretted that decision, actually we consider it to be one of the best decisions we’ve ever made.
5. Lisa | April 25th, 2007 at 5:02 am
I haven’t read the book. But it sounds as if she thinks it’s not possible to both stay at home and contribute. Also, not possible to be happy with the choice of raising your children yourself. I think she needs to be introduced to the world of work at home moms.
6. Nell Taliercio | April 25th, 2007 at 11:29 am
I couldn’t pull anything up with that link so I really don’t know what the book is all about, but I can say there is a sense of pride and honor in raising my boys that I never felt with a career.
I do have the blessing of owning a business from home and it allows me to express myself and bring money in, but my most valued “job” is that of being a stay-at-home mom.
7. Goldie | May 2nd, 2007 at 12:20 am
Thank you for stopping by Lori. I followed your link and read the article, yes that was the book that has apparently started all the discussions on the ‘Net lately. I work outside of home myself, but I agree that working from home is the best of both worlds. Also, I too think that the author makes very valid points. I guess I was lucky in a way that, when I became a SAHM (due to circumstances) after the birth of my first, I was quickly made to know that I was now spending money that wasn’t mine, I was suddenly accountable for every penny, etc etc. It was like me staying at home brought forth the worst in my poor husband. I went back to work and make roughly as much as he does, and I feel that’s one of the things keeping our family together. He’s a great guy, but I can never trust him enough to be financially dependent on him again… I save and invest. And I agree with the author that, even with the most supportive of husbands, stuff happens. I’ve talked to these men at my work. These guys would be all right-wing, 50’s, upstanding husbands very supportive of their wives staying at home, telling everybody how they wouldn’t have it any otehr way… then they’d walk up to me and tell me, “Your husband is sooo lucky that his wife has a job!” Interesting huh? Nope, cannot trust ‘em. Sorry about writing a post on your blog.
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