A friend of mine recently quit her full-time job to launch her own business and is currently the happiest woman you could image.
That happiness, of course, comes with a price – for her fiancé, that is.
You see, in the midst of launching her own business from home, her mind became consumed with logistics, business name ideas, trademark processes, website design, logo design, scheduling, plans for growth, etc.
Her fiancé, the most supportive man ever, dealt with listening and supporting as much as he could handle.
But soon enough, she started to see his eyes glaze over when she’d talk about it, he’d change the subject, or he’d find something he had to do right at that moment.
Luckily, this woman is very in-tune with her partner, and realized his signals of distress right away.
But for many partners, different styles of communication and different personalities might cause serious friction in a relationship when a woman transitions from employed worker to work-at-home-mom or entrepreneur.
Let’s face it – no one can stand hearing about one thing time and time again. Sound familiar? Well luckily, I spoke with my friend and she gave me some great tips on how she is handling the launch of her business without making her husband flee out of the nearest exit, or detonate from aggravation.
Watch Out for Signals
You’re probably super in-tune with your partner like my friend is, but some men are harder to decipher than others. When aggravated, some suppress their emotions and retreat when they simply can’t take any more. Others are more vocal, which could turn into a heated argument if irritated enough.
However, there are many common signals for men that signal frustration or bother. He might give you blank stares, change the subject, disappear to other areas of the house, go out with friends more or be more quick-tempered, moody or silent.
It’s important to pay close attention and keep an eye out signals that aren’t characteristic of him, and adjust your communication accordingly.
Put Yourself in His Shoes
This one may be a hard one because although you are so passionate about your new endeavor, your husband can only be so happy for you. Put yourself in his position and be honest with yourself.
Do you feel like you’re on repeat?
What percentage of your conversations revolve around your business?
Have you already asked his opinion on a topic once? If you were him, would you be annoyed? If you find yourself even asking these questions, chances are, you’re talking too much about it and need to cool it and respect his perspective.
Turn the Tables
What happened at your husband’s job yesterday? Last week? What’s he looking forward to? If you can answer any of these, you might be okay. If you can’t, you’re probably not paying enough attention to his life. Don’t be discouraged – it’s easy to forget about others when you’re so focused on your own circumstances.
In your mind, you are doing this for your family, so in your mind, you are considering others. But keep in mind that just like you want to talk about your day, hopes, plans and dreams, so does he.
Separate Business and Play
You chose to work at home so you have more family time, right? Right. So do your absolute best to keep the two separate, unless you really need advice he hasn’t already given you or he shows additional interest. When you’re working, work.
When you’re with your husband, try to enjoy time together and talk about things other than work.
Involve Him in Decisions
It’s a man’s nature to want to feel purposeful to his wife. Perhaps he’ll respond better if you keep him actively involved in the management of your business. Tell your husband how much you value his opinion and ask him to offer his insight into various aspects of your business.
Make him feel like an integral component to your team. Then show him how his advice has positively impacted your business.
Celebrate the Milestones Together
Did you gain a new client? Reach a new revenue mark? Launch a website? Get a lucrative ad buyer? Make sure to celebrate success, both large and small, with your husband. After all, as a work-at-home mom, he is your most important team member. By doing so, he’ll feel like he’s contributing to your success, and will be more likely to continue supporting you into the future.
Show Him your Gratitude
Sometimes it’s hard to remember to show your gratitude when you’re trying to hold down the house, make money working, be successful, raise your kids right, prepare healthy meals, teach the ABC’s and keep yourself healthy. But to keep your husband on the same track with you, he needs to be reminded how much you appreciate him.
If he gives you good ideas, make sure he knows you think they’re great ideas. If he stocks your office supplies, thank him and tell him you couldn’t do it without him. Just be gracious, it goes a long way with a man.
Being a work-at-home mom has its ups and downs just like anything else. But if you have a man that stands behind you every step of the way, don’t focus so much on your own endeavors that you forget about those that are supporting you.
Put yourself in his shoes, focus on him for awhile, make him part of the team, celebrate your successes and finally, be sure to let him know how much he’s appreciated.
